Finding my Grace

It was there at 28,000 feet that I lost it. It started well before my second trip to the restroom. Reading The Shack again exposed my "great sadness". My many woes and my many short comings or perceived failures now stared back at me in the mirror of the airplane bathroom. It started as I walked to the restroom, my body lifted up, words filled my mind and my brain started singing a song I knew well. Tears welled in my eyes as my brain slowly comprehended what I was singing. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. Like me, like me, I kept thinking like me, saved a wretch like me. I was saved, and I am saved. I need my papa just as much as he needs me. He needs to feel my love and my trust. I need to know him just as much as he delights in knowing me. He lives through me and loves hearing me share stories. As I returned to my seat by Matty I was overtaken by the beauty outside. The beauty that the Lord, my papa created for me to see. Perhaps at my moment of saving, my amazing grace he showed me that there is so much beauty in this life that I had reluctanly viewed as ugly and dark recently. The anger and fears I had held against my papa were now less strong, my shoulders now slightly lighter as I viewed first hand the beauty of Gods creations. The beauty all around me that my own "pain" caused me to overlook. I needed to allow God in and my sadness out to have the full ability to open my eyes and truly see. I need to let Papa live through me each day and have faith in him to take care of me and to lead me in the right direction. 

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.


T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.


Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.


The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.


Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.


When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.