How to handle rude peoples "advice" and words

I think today is a good day to talk about rude people, since there are so many of them and they always seem to give you feedback when you are most vulnerable. I HATE RUDE PEOPLE! Almost as much as I hate sin. I have tried everything from saying thank you and walking away irritated, to ignoring the person, to putting them in their place. This week I got snappy with a girl, who overheard my conversation with a friend regarding trying to conceive. This girl says to me, " girl you just need to freakin relax, and stop freaking out". PISSED off was an understatement, I immediately felt my face turn hot and I decided that was it. Im not going to be the nice girl who always walks away, but is always the one hurting. Not today! I looked that girl in the face and said, relaxing wont help my uterus carry a baby or make my endometriosis go away. She shut her mouth so fast. People always want to give you advice wether its on how your wedding should be, or who you should marry, date, how you should dress, or act, how to get pregnant, and even how to raise your child. So annoying, although some advice I actually take into consideration, depending on the source. 


When a woman is trying to get pregnant its really emotionally draining when month after month we end up empty womb. I feel myself comparing me to other people, why cant I get pregnant, but rude people can? or why can a serial killer get pregnant, or child molesters? I drive myself nuts wondering how its possibly fair that I cannot get pregnant. I really try my hardest at life. I work to full capacity and love what I do, all while loving the kids and families I care for. 


OK enough with my bitter ranting. We are trying again this month to get pregnant. Im so tired of trying, I hate the routine of having to thing about what cycle day I am. I hate having to remember to take certain medications, or make it to appointments. My work schedule is insane and its stressful having to move days just to make appointments. We have an ultrasound this friday to see how many eggs we have and how big they are. Hopefully the week after that we will do another iui, hopefully this time it works, although I must admit I don't think it will. I have a feeling we are going to have to save a small fortune just to get pregnant. Im going to talk to dr. potter regarding ivf and the NYC program. I am going to see if he will monitor me while on the study. We will see... 


Anyway, Im going to take Harvey to centinella today, he LOVES it there. Its pretty cold and rainy but it will be fun to buy him some treats. Later today I am going to paint my friends nails, Daddy bought me shellac nail polish and the special uv light for christmas so that I could do my nails and my friends. Im really excited to use them. I did your grammies Saturday night . We painted them a really pretty red with sparkles on top. She loves sparkles. We celebrated christmas that day with Grammie and Papa, it was nice. We got them a really great photo-canvas from our wedding with all the kids in it. It was really nice. It was fun to watch them look at it and smile. We loved that it will be a timeless gift and one that doesn't take up much room at all. Grammie and Papa spoiled mommy and daddy. They always do. 

Doctors!!

So today was pretty hard for me, I had to go to the dr.s alone, without you in my belly. I thought I was going to be ok because Im a really strong person and usually am great on counting on myself. I was ok until the receptionist said fill this paper out, oh wait your not pregnant are you? and then Im guessing by the look on my face she knew and apologized. I was crushed. I walked back to my seat in the baby filled lobby and tried my hardest not to cry. I hate crying in front of people, I hate the weakness that I feel when I am vulnerable and crying, so I really do it rarely in front of anyone. 

Finally after waiting with really cute babies in the waiting room I was called back. I got my weight and blood pressure taken. They were really good the nurse said. I weigh 119lbs and my blood pressure was 90/60. Not too shabby! The nurse was really sweet, she took me into the room and rubbed my arm, she smiled and told me that her niece had a miscarriage and then went on to have 4 healthy babies! She said she hopes to see me pregnant soon and not to worry. So sweet :)

After the introduction the NP, who was really nice, thankfully did a few tests on momma. She felt my belly and then checked other places. She said everything looked really good and that we could start trying again as soon as possible. She said with the endometriosis the sooner we conceive the better, but Daddy and I already knew that. She asked about my job and told me that she has a daughter in school right now who wants to be an oncology nurse! Pretty cool huh? She was very kind and really made me feel comfortable. She said she knows we can get pregnant again, and to call after I get a positive home test. When I was leaving the office she gave me a big hug, which I really needed to tell you the honest truth. I was feeling very needy and sad, but at the same time happy to have met such a nice group of medical professionals whom I'm hoping you too will meet someday. 

Today Daddy's at work and I am home with Harvey. We went on one walk already and are now just relaxing. I just made some really good guacamole for a snack! Harvey wanted some but I told him he was not allowed to eat avocados or onions. He still looked longingly at my chips, and then eventually rested by my feet. Hes such a great friend, and is good at keeping me company. I suppose we need each other equally because he really loves being with us. 

Another funny thing that happened today was that when I got into my car to head for the Dr.'s office I glanced into the back seat, you know to make sure no creepy person was waiting to steal my already locked car..haha I'm a bit paranoid lol Any way I saw two little eyes looking back at me and was like what? hey what are you doing in my locked car? It was a really cute baby bird!! I don't know how he got in, and obviously we couldn't keep him, so I opened all the doors and shooed him out. He took flight but landed low fairly fast. I walked over to him, because he was chirping and realized that he may have just started flight school. I sat talking to him trying to tell him to flap his little wings and fly, but he couldn't. Eventually a bigger bird flew over and talked to him, together they tried flying, but the baby couldn't quite make it up to the perch where the big bird was. a few more birds came to help, and eventually he was able to leave. So cute!

Here is a picture of the baby bird in the car, and the other one is of Harvey at the beach! Daddy took him to the beach again this week and he had a wonderful time. You have a really wonderful Daddy who is going to take you on a lot of fun adventures!

Hair and play dates...

Hi my love bug!

I have been quite neglectful of this blog, but have been a busy bee. I have been working a lot and on my free time I'm busy cleaning the house, cooking, and shopping. Its a full time job. Also I have been really trying to do more things with Harvey since Daddy has been gone at work so much. I feel so bad for him, I think he must be so bored. I place my feelings on him, although I'm sure he really is bored. 

This week he was a really lucky boy. I have been doing my barre class every morning that I am off work, and so Harvey has had the opportunity to hang out with his papa. Papa is so much fun and loves Harvey so much. They play catch, go on walks and just enjoy being with each other. It allows me the ability to enjoy my classes more. After the class we went to the beach one day, then yesterday I coordinated a play date with Tram and Bruno. Harvey and Bruno get along like brothers, they are both so sweet and very gentle. Tram is a nice girl who is studying to become a pharmacist. Super cool. Tonight is girls night so Jenny and Jen are coming over to eat and hang out with me. Harvey has a date also he will be with Brooklyn! Such a lucky boy. 

Another fun thing Harvey got to do this week was go to his favorite store centinela. Its a pet store where we get his food and treats. When he goes they treat him like a king, loving him to pieces and giving him way too many treats, but I allow it since we really only go there every other month. 

Oh ya, I totally cut my hair yesterday! Its way short now, I have always had long hair since my traumatizing childhood hair cuts that resembled Gilligan from the TV show Gilligan's island. Horrible Horrible, any way I love my stylist and totally trust him, which when you learn to know momma you will learn that I rarely trust that much. A downfall yes, but I'm obviously working on it and slowly improving. Any way he cut my hair short! I told him I wasn't going to say no, but going to allow him to do what he thought would look the best on my head. I think he was shocked because most people have rules, don't do this and don't do that. Well he had a blast, and I am learning to like the new me I see in the mirror. its a tough adjustment because you get so used to seeing the same look. but a change is nice. I just hope daddy likes it! 

I hope you decided to join our lives soon there are so many fun pregnant things I want to do. Also I really want to join this bible study with my friend Erika, but its a Mommy's study..so if you decide to join our family mommy can join that group. ha ha 

Another cool thing that I will let you in on is that Mommy and Erika are going to try to do a nursing research project together. I hope that God gives us the knowledge and information we need to do this study safely and wisely. I will keep you posted. So excited. Erika has a little boy Noah, who one day I'm sure you will get to play with. He is such a sweet boy, and I just know you will enjoy hanging out!

I love you my sweet angel! Happy floating :)

Mommy