Resolve

This week is national infertility awareness week. April 21-27

As many of you know I have struggled with not only infant loss but also infertility. It's a long battle that isn't widely acknowledged or spoken about. We hope to change that. Infertility isn't something to be ashamed of. I hope that through the work of resolve and other support groups men and women of all walks in life will find the support needed to pursue their dreams of having a family. Resources are abundant and technology is expanding. Things we never thought possible are now at our fingertips! 

Info:

Infertility affects approximately 10% of the population. Since infertility strikes diverse groups-affecting people from all socioeconomic levels and cutting across all racial, ethnic and religious lines- chances are great that a friend, relative, neighbor or perhaps you are attempting to cope with the medical and emotional aspects of infertility.

Infertility leaves you feeling defeated. We lose all control and have to rely on doctors and their teams to help us conceive. People have been in the business of making babies since the world started. It's not that simple for everyone though.

If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility there is a wonderful support group online at resolve.org. Also reaching out for support is crucial. The journey is awful to walk alone, and no one should ever have to. 

If you or someone you know are having a hard time getting or staying pregnant reach out to your Obgyn. There are simple blood tests that can be run. Your doctor might refer you to a specialist called a reproductive endocrinologist. This dr will act like a detective until they find a treatment plan or pathway to help you achieve your goals of becoming parents! 

Not all people requiring fertility treatment end up having ivf. Many of the procedures are less invasive and work well! 

Be one more brave person who's willing to speak out against this disease and stand up for those around you! Offer love, encouragement and support.

DO NOT:

These are a few things people said to me on my journey. They didn't realize they were hurting my feelings. If you know someone with infertility do not say any of these things. Just listen and offer hugs. Do not ask a million questions, they will share when and if they feel comfortable. 

Do not tell me to relax!! - relaxing wont suddenly help someone's sperm count improve, it won't make endometriosis go away, it won't reverse the age of your eggs! Don't say it ever! 

Do not tell me it isn't the right time! - how do you know when the time is right? Many people have no problem getting knocked up at the wrong time!

Do not tell me ivf is a sin: that's your opinion. There is no place in the bible that says ivf or surrogacy are sinful. If you believe this I'm sorry you aren't as educated in your faith as you should be. Maybe try the bible and not word of mouth. If you really believe in god than you know science is a gift from him. Do you vaccinate your children?! Tsk tsk man made vaccines... Such  a sin.. Just sayin..

Do not tell me to give up or adopt! That is my personal decision and you are not a part of that decision.

Do not assume this journey is easy. It's very emotional and very straining on any relationship especially marriages. 

Do not jokingly tell me I can have your kids. I don't want them I want my own. 

Do not tell me you don't understand why we can't get pregnant! 

We don't understand it either which is why we are paying thousands of dollars to try! 

Do not ask me if I am pregnant yet! If I am ready to share I will. If I'm not pregnant you just broke my heart again.

Don't minimize my desire to have a baby-

Don't tell me I'm lucky because I get to sleep in or go on vacation anytime I want. I think your lucky because you have a child to love, nurture and share life with. 

Don't complain about your pregnancy or kids:

We would die to be in your shoes, and are paying an arm and a leg to get there!

Do:

Do offer support

Do pray for or with them

Do support their privacy

Do support and respect their decision to stop treatments

Do acknowledge them on Mother's Day. Many of these women have lost babies along this journey and although they are not mothers to babies on earth, they are mothers all the more. 

I hope this was a helpful post. If you or anyone you know have questions or need support please feel free to contact me. I have been through almost all of the treatments and/or  have seen them done on someone. I'd love to offer any knowledge I may have. 

Xo