Day 7 : 19 weeks!!!

Hi love bugs! I'm sure you know because I've been griping all day about it, but mommies back feels like its broken:( it hurt the second I woke up and it's still hurting. This morning daddy kissed me good bye and left for his shift. I was sad but happy he was one day closer to graduation! He has been working so hard at graduating and is trying to get a good job to help support us. He's the best ever!! Well after daddy left I had two nightmares back to back! In one of them I felt someone pushing me into the bed, I felt it, I pushed away with my hands and tried to move but they bent my fingers back. I was frozen right there I was so afraid to look, I was terrified! I knew who it was and honestly thought it was real not a dream. I gasped and sat up to fight back only to find myself in a black room. Scary!! I went back to bed although my back pain was worsening and my tummy felt funny. All of a sudden I felt a moistness in between my legs and it further freaked me out! I feared I would find blood, or amniotic fluid, I was anxious but I popped up went to the loo and thank goodness only found the progesterone gel I have been using. It scared me and I decided that was enough for one morning. So I got dressed and headed downstairs. My mom was already awake, I showed her the key ad she left to get a few things, fruit for us and more of my blood thinning medication. We are almost don't using it!! Thank goodness because it really hurts as it leaves my belly black and blue. Not a flattering look. After lunch I napped a bit then we watched a movie. We watched The Help. I read the book a few years ago and like it. It's amazing how people have come so far, and yet not far enough. Just rember my sweet babies to treat everyone with love and respect. You don't know what their eyes have seen or their hearts have endured. Be too kind. My mom made a beautiful green salad with fresh tomatoes, green onions and mushrooms along with fresh garlic bread and lasagna. It was really good. For desert we had raspberries and a few cookies. We were very spoiled today. A really exciting thing happened today! Jenny mommies good friend for engaged!! We were supposed to e there before we were committed to the bed rest asylum but we were on the couch instead. My wonderful friends kept me well in the loop. They all messages me to let me know. I cried of course because I was so elated for her, and because I am emotional and sad we missed such a huge event:( Jenny and Eddie have been dating since high school!! Almost 10 years. They adore eachother and are a beautiful loving couple. I couldn't be happier for them! So excited!! I cried because the emotions involved in bed rest are so high, I've never needed anyone especially no help. I have always been very independent, possibly to a fault. Now I completely rely on people to do everything even my most sacred getting me water which I probably consume a gallon a day! Such a pain I'm sure, then I pee a lot. My mom was a darn drill Sargent, she kept sassin me to get back in bed but I had to pee. People just don't understand, plus my back ached so much I thought I'd explode if I didn't stretch. I didn't feel you much today:( I love feelin you move. It makes me so happy. Hopefully tomorrow. Guess what loves?! We are 19 weeks today!! We made it another week. Such a wonderful gift to make it another Blessed week with you both safe, healthy and growing in my belly! I pray we continue to make weeks pass and that we continue to be safe. I've had quite a few weepy moments, but am trying to focus on our goal!  This was my inspiration today:  Trust - in His timing Rely - on His promises Wait - for His answers Believe - in His miracles Rejoice - in His goodness Relax - in His presence Bed rest is hard, I've never been good at just sitting. My back pain has reached a new level, but I imagine if I stood on my feet for a week straight only changing positions slightly they too would hurt:( I've been reading a lot, and have been Staying hopeful and trying My best to be happy;) I love you both more than anything;)