Hi loves!
Today was a day full of flexibility and compromise. Daddy and I woke up to the day manager telling us she was really sorry but they were experiencing a large influx of pregnant women delivering and they needed our room. We were pretty bummed because it took us days to settle in after me bring so sick. Daddy worked hard to set up and organize our new space, and we have 4 weeks of hospital accumulation in the room that needed to be moved. Another bummer was we would have a roommate:( I shouldn't complain because daddy had to do all the packing again and shuffle everything into our new tiny shared room. They rolled me in my bed so my part was easy.
Our roommate is really nice. We exchanged stories and paths to getting here. She had a similar story with fertility treatments and then bedrest. She is 30 weeks and was placed on rest at 28 and will stay until she delivers. She kept saying how she wished she wasnt 30 and how it's so hard. Blah I'd seriously cry tears of joy to be here still at 30 weeks! And only 2 weeks of bedrest so far?! Lucky! but bed rest is hard no matter how long you are on it, and the fear that accompanies it is even worse. I'm on my 8th week. That's two straight months I've laid on my back, my muscles slowly wasting away, life slipping further and further away. The thoughts of my house, job and daily routine a distant memory. It's crazy how fast things changed. I've worked very hard to maintain a very positive attitude even if it means lying and saying im great when inside I'm crying, screaming begging to go home. Begging to have a normal pregnancy with a baby shower, with nesting in my own home, with maternity pictures and hanging out with friends. Instead I've had my world shattered. I rely on people for everything I do. I am fed the same meal over and over unless a sweet friend or family member brings us real food. I miss cooking and the healthy options that come from being at home in our kitchen. I miss my bed and our couch. I kiss Harvey more than anything. I wonder if he will remember me, if he realizes I'm gone, if he thinks we have abandoned him. It kills me. During dinner our new roommate was taking her maternity pictures and I started crying. I wept in daddys arm and couldn't stop. I was so sad to be missing out on so much, to be stuck here with no other option. Strength is a hard thing to constantly have. It's hard to climb uphill all the time. I have to constantly remind myself that there is a gift more precious than anything I've ever experienced at the top of this climb I'm on. It's hard and I want to melt to the side and stop, to hide, to run away from this and make it go away. I need to rember to have faith, strength and hope. I want you to be healthy and have the least amount of hospital time outside my belly and if that requires me to be here on bed rest than I'll fight that climb daily.
We had our favorite nurses come in to see us today. Jen brought us this norelli oil today and I put it on my neck and hands after our shower. It smells really good. She said it helps soothe the body and should aid with sleeping since I've had such a hard time sleeping. Mostly because I keep having nightmares about going into labor early, and I'm on meds every 2 hours so I never get a block of sleep to work with:( it goes from iv medications hour after hour to oral meds for contractions and blood pressure checks before hand to make sure it's high enough to take the medication. No complaints just hard to find peace enough to sleep. Also the bed is not nearly as lovely as ours at home. Pam our other nurse brought us pulled pork and smoked fries for dinner! She said its the best! She was right I don't eat meat often but the few bites I had were amazing!! And the fries, smokey Cajun deliciousness!! all of the girls seem to really enjoy taking care of daddy and us and they are always do sweet. They visit, share food, and just check on my mental status which is nice. I think most people over look that in this type of situation, they think what's so hard about what your doing? But in all honesty it's emotionally and physically draining. Showering had become a huge ordeal and I'm often wiped afterwards. Emotionally it takes everything inside me not to be the biggest b word ever, to remind myself that I need to always be polite and gracious for every little thing anyone does or offers to do. Kindness goes a long way!
Well sweet angels, tonight I let daddy place a new iv because my other one was going bad. He did a great job although I did lose some blood. He forgot to clamp the vein. Haha it's ok he's learning. It made me laugh because I'd just reminded him to clamp it so blood didn't get everywhere and sure enough ten seconds later he had forgotten haha. Men! Daddy's!!! He's going to be the best daddy ever to you both! We love you so much and are so grateful to have passed another day with you in my belly. I pray you continue to grow strong and healthy. You are the absolute best! Daddy and I spoiled you both today!! We figured we neede to start buying the needed items that are must haves for when you arrive. Lets just say you got some great things that will keep you safe! Our next big splurge will be our stroller. So excited to get things purchased and ready for you! Lucky little ducks!! Muah sleep well in there;)
Today was a day full of flexibility and compromise. Daddy and I woke up to the day manager telling us she was really sorry but they were experiencing a large influx of pregnant women delivering and they needed our room. We were pretty bummed because it took us days to settle in after me bring so sick. Daddy worked hard to set up and organize our new space, and we have 4 weeks of hospital accumulation in the room that needed to be moved. Another bummer was we would have a roommate:( I shouldn't complain because daddy had to do all the packing again and shuffle everything into our new tiny shared room. They rolled me in my bed so my part was easy.
Our roommate is really nice. We exchanged stories and paths to getting here. She had a similar story with fertility treatments and then bedrest. She is 30 weeks and was placed on rest at 28 and will stay until she delivers. She kept saying how she wished she wasnt 30 and how it's so hard. Blah I'd seriously cry tears of joy to be here still at 30 weeks! And only 2 weeks of bedrest so far?! Lucky! but bed rest is hard no matter how long you are on it, and the fear that accompanies it is even worse. I'm on my 8th week. That's two straight months I've laid on my back, my muscles slowly wasting away, life slipping further and further away. The thoughts of my house, job and daily routine a distant memory. It's crazy how fast things changed. I've worked very hard to maintain a very positive attitude even if it means lying and saying im great when inside I'm crying, screaming begging to go home. Begging to have a normal pregnancy with a baby shower, with nesting in my own home, with maternity pictures and hanging out with friends. Instead I've had my world shattered. I rely on people for everything I do. I am fed the same meal over and over unless a sweet friend or family member brings us real food. I miss cooking and the healthy options that come from being at home in our kitchen. I miss my bed and our couch. I kiss Harvey more than anything. I wonder if he will remember me, if he realizes I'm gone, if he thinks we have abandoned him. It kills me. During dinner our new roommate was taking her maternity pictures and I started crying. I wept in daddys arm and couldn't stop. I was so sad to be missing out on so much, to be stuck here with no other option. Strength is a hard thing to constantly have. It's hard to climb uphill all the time. I have to constantly remind myself that there is a gift more precious than anything I've ever experienced at the top of this climb I'm on. It's hard and I want to melt to the side and stop, to hide, to run away from this and make it go away. I need to rember to have faith, strength and hope. I want you to be healthy and have the least amount of hospital time outside my belly and if that requires me to be here on bed rest than I'll fight that climb daily.
We had our favorite nurses come in to see us today. Jen brought us this norelli oil today and I put it on my neck and hands after our shower. It smells really good. She said it helps soothe the body and should aid with sleeping since I've had such a hard time sleeping. Mostly because I keep having nightmares about going into labor early, and I'm on meds every 2 hours so I never get a block of sleep to work with:( it goes from iv medications hour after hour to oral meds for contractions and blood pressure checks before hand to make sure it's high enough to take the medication. No complaints just hard to find peace enough to sleep. Also the bed is not nearly as lovely as ours at home. Pam our other nurse brought us pulled pork and smoked fries for dinner! She said its the best! She was right I don't eat meat often but the few bites I had were amazing!! And the fries, smokey Cajun deliciousness!! all of the girls seem to really enjoy taking care of daddy and us and they are always do sweet. They visit, share food, and just check on my mental status which is nice. I think most people over look that in this type of situation, they think what's so hard about what your doing? But in all honesty it's emotionally and physically draining. Showering had become a huge ordeal and I'm often wiped afterwards. Emotionally it takes everything inside me not to be the biggest b word ever, to remind myself that I need to always be polite and gracious for every little thing anyone does or offers to do. Kindness goes a long way!
Well sweet angels, tonight I let daddy place a new iv because my other one was going bad. He did a great job although I did lose some blood. He forgot to clamp the vein. Haha it's ok he's learning. It made me laugh because I'd just reminded him to clamp it so blood didn't get everywhere and sure enough ten seconds later he had forgotten haha. Men! Daddy's!!! He's going to be the best daddy ever to you both! We love you so much and are so grateful to have passed another day with you in my belly. I pray you continue to grow strong and healthy. You are the absolute best! Daddy and I spoiled you both today!! We figured we neede to start buying the needed items that are must haves for when you arrive. Lets just say you got some great things that will keep you safe! Our next big splurge will be our stroller. So excited to get things purchased and ready for you! Lucky little ducks!! Muah sleep well in there;)
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